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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Mother
Laugh
Laughing
Already
Age
Friends
Faces
Voices
Voice
Six
Making
Seven
More quotes by George Carlin
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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