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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Laughing
Already
Age
Friends
Faces
Voices
Voice
Six
Making
Seven
Mother
Laugh
More quotes by George Carlin
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
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We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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Life is not that complicated.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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