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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Branches
Saint
Artery
Decided
Consultation
Close
Arteries
Happened
Patrick
Left
Descending
Without
Branch
Organs
More quotes by George Carlin
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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