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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Close
Arteries
Happened
Patrick
Left
Descending
Without
Branch
Organs
Branches
Saint
Artery
Decided
Consultation
More quotes by George Carlin
I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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