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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Happened
Patrick
Left
Descending
Without
Branch
Organs
Branches
Saint
Artery
Decided
Consultation
Close
Arteries
More quotes by George Carlin
Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
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To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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