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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stuck
Dollars
Terms
Coke
Term
Dollar
Money
Nose
Thought
Noses
Ever
Bill
Bills
More quotes by George Carlin
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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