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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Term
Dollar
Money
Nose
Thought
Noses
Ever
Bill
Bills
Stuck
Dollars
Terms
Coke
More quotes by George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Language always gives you away.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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