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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Next
Frantic
Back
Trip
Look
Occupation
Looks
Album
Right
Albums
Pictures
Sick
Foole
Hear
Breathless
More quotes by George Carlin
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
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