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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Cocaine
Tape
Content
Listen
Special
Shows
Nothing
Real
Tapes

More quotes by George Carlin

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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
George Carlin
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin