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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Special
Shows
Nothing
Real
Tapes
Cocaine
Tape
Content
Listen
More quotes by George Carlin
I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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