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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
House
Freak
Sometimes
Sheer
Every
Nuts
Really
Floor
Speed
Bolt
Cutting
Bolts
Sort
Loaded
Often
Insanity
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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