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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Hands
May
Able
Pot
Way
Windows
Opens
Window
Doors
Hand
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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The older you get, the better you realize you were.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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