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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Hand
Hands
May
Able
Pot
Way
Windows
Opens
Window
Doors
More quotes by George Carlin
Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
George Carlin
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
George Carlin
Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.
George Carlin
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George Carlin
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
George Carlin
The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
George Carlin
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
George Carlin
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
George Carlin
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
George Carlin
