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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Window
Doors
Hand
Hands
May
Able
Pot
Way
Windows
Opens
More quotes by George Carlin
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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When people asked me, Do you get high to go onstage? I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
George Carlin
You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin