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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Much
Performer
Performers
Helped
Grass
Especially
Probably
Hurt

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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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All music is the blues. All of it.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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The status quo sucks.
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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