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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Ritual
Decided
Worth
Wasn
Simply
Dope

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Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
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Religion is just mind control.
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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