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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Certainly
Inventive
Term
Bruce
Social
Commentary
Right
Performer
Believe
Performers
Worthwhile
League
Terms
Lenny

More quotes by George Carlin

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I always knew I could hold people's attention and make them laugh every 30 or 40 seconds, and I got approval and attention for that, so the behavior was reinforced. Later, that became an important skill on the street corner.
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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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Life is tough, then you die.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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