Quote

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Social
Commentary
Right
Performer
Believe
Performers
Worthwhile
League
Terms
Lenny
Certainly
Inventive
Term
Bruce

More quotes by George Carlin

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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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