Quote

It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Without
Line
Enough
Head
People
Lines
Difficult
Young
Drunken
Persons
Hanging
Soul
Fronts
Person
Front

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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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You never see a smiling runner.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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