Quote

It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Young
Drunken
Persons
Hanging
Soul
Fronts
Person
Front
Without
Line
Enough
Head
People
Lines
Difficult

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Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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