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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Leaving
Doors
Hear
Someone
Littles
Back
Little
Love
Commotion
More quotes by George Carlin
Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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