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I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
Commotion
Leaving
Doors
Hear
Someone
Littles
Back
Little

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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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The status quo sucks.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
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