Quote

I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Work
Filter
Think
Entertainer
Thinking
Filters
World
Entertainers
Performing
Comic
Stand
Artist
Interprets

More quotes by George Carlin

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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
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Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
George Carlin
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First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.
George Carlin
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
George Carlin
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
George Carlin
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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