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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
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Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
World
Entertainers
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More quotes by George Carlin
My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
George Carlin
Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
George Carlin
Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
George Carlin
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
George Carlin
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George Carlin
Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
Hooray for most things!
George Carlin
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
George Carlin
In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin
No comment is a comment.
George Carlin
