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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Time
Performers
Tries
Please
Artist
Entertainer
Others
Pleases
Someone
Entertainers
Trying
Performer
Long
Distinguished
More quotes by George Carlin
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
George Carlin
The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin
