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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
First
Counterculture
Thing
Besides
Drugs
Drug
Writer
Started
Talking
Firsts

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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing
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