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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Thing
Besides
Drugs
Drug
Writer
Started
Talking
Firsts
First
Counterculture
More quotes by George Carlin
People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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The status quo sucks.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
George Carlin
