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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
High
Lost
Traders
Priests
Species
Took
More quotes by George Carlin
Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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Life is a series of dogs.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
George Carlin
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
George Carlin
