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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Touch
Might
Right
Something
Ethnicity
Blackness
Genetic
Homosexuality
Whereas

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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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