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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Quibble
Skeptic
Certainly
Always
People

More quotes by George Carlin

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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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What wine goes with Captain Crunch?
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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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