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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Quibble
Skeptic
Certainly
Always
People

More quotes by George Carlin

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Why don't they have waiters in waiting rooms?
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
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It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
George Carlin
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
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