Quote

We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Things
Fashion
Moment
Occasion
Speak
Suit
Moments
Truths
Persons
Suits
Person
Occasions
Needs
Shape
Kind
Shapes

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin
Image
Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin
Image
There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
George Carlin
Image
The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
George Carlin
Image
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
George Carlin
Image
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
Image
I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
George Carlin
Image
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
George Carlin
Image
One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
George Carlin
Image
You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
George Carlin
Image
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
Image
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
Image
George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin
Image
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
Image
One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
George Carlin
Image
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
George Carlin
Image
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
Image
Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the Ten Most Wanted criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list?
George Carlin
Image
Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
George Carlin
Image
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin