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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Always
Frequent
Like
Miles
People
Hand
Wonder
Dies
Hands
Many
Flier
Kind
Unused
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
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Sometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
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