Quote

I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Always
Frequent
Like
Miles
People
Hand
Wonder
Dies
Hands
Many
Flier
Kind
Unused

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When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
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You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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What year did Jesus think it was?
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
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People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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