Quote

I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Many
Flier
Kind
Unused
Always
Frequent
Like
Miles
People
Hand
Wonder
Dies
Hands

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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
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If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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Surround yourself with what you love.
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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