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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Invisible
Fingers
Offers
Extended
Hand
Smith
Middle
Finger
Hands
Adam
Seems
Offer
People
Awful
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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