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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Offers
Extended
Hand
Smith
Middle
Finger
Hands
Adam
Seems
Offer
People
Awful
Invisible
Fingers
More quotes by George Carlin
I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
George Carlin
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George Carlin
One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
George Carlin
Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
George Carlin
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
George Carlin
All music is the blues. All of it.
George Carlin
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin
I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
George Carlin
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
George Carlin
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
George Carlin
