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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Shame
Dog
Watches
Watch

More quotes by George Carlin

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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
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Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
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Hooray for most things!
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin