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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Shame
Dog
Watches
Watch

More quotes by George Carlin

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Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.
George Carlin
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
George Carlin
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
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God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
George Carlin
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
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Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
George Carlin
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
George Carlin
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
George Carlin
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
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I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
George Carlin
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin