Quote

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Eleven
Worked
American
Form
Government
Things
Never
Like

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
George Carlin
Image
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
George Carlin
Image
Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
Image
Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
George Carlin
Image
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
George Carlin
Image
We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
George Carlin
Image
George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
George Carlin
Image
I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
George Carlin
Image
When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
George Carlin
Image
I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
George Carlin
Image
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Image
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
Image
The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
Image
I do something about the weather. I stay home.
George Carlin
Image
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
Image
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
Image
Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
George Carlin
Image
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
Image
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
Image
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin