Quote

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Form
Government
Things
Never
Like
Eleven
Worked
American

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
George Carlin
Image
When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
George Carlin
Image
Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
George Carlin
Image
I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
Image
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George Carlin
Image
The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
Image
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
George Carlin
Image
Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element is present in all art. It is the key to even standing up and saying, Hey, listen to me. Self-expression can be based on looking at the world and making observations about it.
George Carlin
Image
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
George Carlin
Image
Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George Carlin
Image
Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
George Carlin
Image
I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
George Carlin
Image
The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
George Carlin
Image
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin
Image
hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
George Carlin
Image
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
Image
I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
Image
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
Image
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
George Carlin
Image
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin