Quote

I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Thinking
Crack
Cracks
Buying
Selling
Changing
Maybe
Church
Around
Whores

More quotes by George Carlin

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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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