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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Audience
Sense
Without
Laughs
Comedian
Wouldn
Laughing

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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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Your home is your refuge.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
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