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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Audience
Sense
Without
Laughs
Comedian
Wouldn
Laughing

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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
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Hooray for most things!
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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
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You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
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