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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Without
Laughs
Comedian
Wouldn
Laughing
Audience
Sense

More quotes by George Carlin

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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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Life is not that complicated.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
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Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
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The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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Language always gives you away.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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