Quote

The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Acceptable
Phrases
Perform
Strikes
Surgical
Practice
Explosives
High
Phrase
Common
Surgery
Might
Strike

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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
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My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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