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You never see a smiling runner.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Never
Runner
Smiling
Runners

More quotes by George Carlin

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Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
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Your home is your refuge.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
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If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
George Carlin
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George Carlin
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George Carlin
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I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
George Carlin
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If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
George Carlin
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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
George Carlin
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
George Carlin