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You never see a smiling runner.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Runner
Smiling
Runners
Never

More quotes by George Carlin

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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
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Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
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The enjoyment has been diminishing. Now, there's no question that it's sort of fun to get high.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
George Carlin