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You never see a smiling runner.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Never
Runner
Smiling
Runners

More quotes by George Carlin

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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
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When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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