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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Madeline
Suicide
Murder
Interesting
Make
Would

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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
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One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a lot. It kind of took possibilities out of my world, and made the focus of things very narrow.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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