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You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Would
Madeline
Suicide
Murder
Interesting
Make

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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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