Quote

Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
American
Shopping
Comprise
Country
Addiction
Riots
Great
Stealing
Merchandise
Politicians
Policemen
Buying
Riot
Politician
Immune
Kill
Embarrassing
Getting
Steal
Underclass

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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
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Political discourse has been reduced to Where's the beef? Read my lips, and Make my day. Where are the assassins when we really need them?
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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.
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We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
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It's harder to be funny from the position of power.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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The US Army has announced that although it is true they performed mind-destroying drug tests on hundreds of soldiers in the 1960s, none of the victims have been promoted beyond the rank of lieutenant colonel.
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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