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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Come
Never
Loves
Meant
Leave
Fire
Someone
Back
More quotes by George Carlin
The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
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Your home is your refuge.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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